Assignment 8: The Second Shift

1. According to Hochschild, the footsteps suggest that Nancy is at work on her "second shift." The first shift is the full time job that takes place during the day and the second shift is what takes place after. For Nancy this includes shopping, cooking, paying bills, taking care of the car, the garden, and yard; keeping harmony with Evan's mom who drops over quite a bit, "concerned" about Joey, with neighbors, their voluble babysitter, and each other. Some of the things Nancy discusses as part of the second shift include: "We're out of barbecue sauce... Joey needs a Halloween costume... The car needs a wash.." The second shift is continued work that takes place with home life after the full time job ends.

2. The story of Evan and Nancy is based around the division of labor in the second shift. Nancy takes the responsibility of cooking, laundry, child and more where as Evan is concerned with relaxing and the garage. Their son Joey is attached mostly to Nancy and has a problem falling asleep at night. He puts most of the attention on himself and his parents have little time for themselves. There is also a disconnected relationship between Evan and Joey because Joey and Nancy are so close. They tried to make a schedule where Nancy and Evan would alternate cooking every other night. Evan would continually forget it was his night so that plan did not work out. Nancy longed for "equality" in the second shift and Evan did not feel the same way. The next plan was dividing the house into upstairs and downstairs. Nancy took the upstairs which consisted of the living room, dining room, kitchen, two bedrooms, and two baths. Evan was responsible for the garage, car, and Max the family dog. This worked out, but Nancy soon felt resentment. Her solution was to cut down hours at work which meant that her time at home was still part of the first shift and not considered a second shift. In the end, Nancy is able to come to terms with the arrangement of everything being considered "hers." Everything is hers except for the garage; Evan takes care of and maintains the things down there. The only thing in his area that she goes near is the washer and dryer. She even got to the point where she calls Joey "her son." This arrangement made it easier for her to live with a division of labor.

3. Hochschild argues that families create myths about the household division of labor. The one that is created between Nancy and Evan is the upstairs-downstairs solution. As I discussed in the previous question, Nancy pretty much took care of the entire house while Evan was responsible for the garage, car and dog. They believed this would work because they needed it to work for their marriage. As stated by Hochschild, it allowed Nancy to continue thinking of herself as the sort-of woman whose husband didn't abuse her. However, Nancy felt resentment from this form of living. It also led to Nancy and Evan comparing different husbands they knew and how much work they did in the household.

4. According to Hochschild, the purpose of family myths is was an attempt to agree that there was no conflict over the second shift, no tension between their versions of manhood and womanhood, and that the powerful crisis that had arisen was temporary and minor. It was a solution to a problem that the family "once had." Hochschild also states that Nancy wore the upstairs-downstairs myth as an ideological cloak to protect her from the contradictions in her marriage and from the cultural and economic forces that press upon it.

5. I really enjoyed the Hochschild reading because it kept me wondering what would happen next. I did not agree with their choice of upstairs-downstairs because it was more of taking the easy way out so there was no conflict. Also, Nancy ended up doing everything while Evan pretty much got to act like a child and play with his tools. I hope that when I am married there is an equal division of labor; and when I equal I mean 50/50, not the form of equal that was established in Nancy and Evan's household. I want my husband to pitch in with the children and housework like my father does now. It takes two people to run a household so there should be no reason as to why a man can not help out.

Assignment 7: Divorce

1. The article I chose is called How are the Children of Divorce Doing? by Donald T. Saposnek. It first discusses the information found about divorce from an article found in Time Magazine called Does Divorce Hurt Kids?. The data from the two authors of that article are mentioned and it is explained how both authors came to different conclusions about children of divorce. One of the researchers concluded that a minority of children have permanent scars which can linger into adulthood and the other researcher was able to give statistics to back up her findings. Wallerstein's study used a small sample of children who were individually interviewed. Hetherington on the other hand studied the objective records of several thousand children and then based her findings on statistically analyzed groups. The article then goes into explaining the various reasons as to what can impact how a child deals with divorce. In order to fully understand how a child is effected by divorce there need to be various questions asked and then predictions can be made.

2. The main statistic that the article examines is the fact that 25% of children from divorce do have serious social, emotional, or psychological problems. In families that are in tact there, only 10% of children suffer from these same issues. The majority of children of divorce (75-80%) show very little long-term damage. Within two years of the divorce the children are doing better and 70% of divorced parents are living happier than before. The chapter by Rutter examines in more depth the research of Hetherington. "There is a comparative rate of distress among children: while 10% of children have behavioral or school related issues, 20-25% of children from divorced families have these problems. Then again there are also 80% of children who do not suffer any problems. The information provided from Hetherington and the article match up because they both show that about 25% of children exhibit distress from a divorce. What Hetherington saw most in her studies was the resilience of children of divorce.

3. The overall results of the research seem very accurate and useful. They are the results of studies from long periods of time and I think the families observed had to go through many trials and tribulations for the research to come to the right conclusions. After reading the text, I can see that Hetherington and Wallerstein's findings were not just thrown into an article because they are mentioned more in depth in Rutter's reading.

4. I do not think there can be any improvements made to the research. It was extremely thorough and large numbers of people were tested in order to get the most accurate results. Both of the researchers spent 25-30 years examining the families and although they came to different conclusions, I think the research was conclusive.

Assignment 6: Marriage

1. One example of the ancient marriages that stood out to me was from Tibet. In these marriages brothers shared one wife. It is currently still happening in southwestern China where people live in sibling clusters rather than in couples. Groups of brothers and sisters together raise children conceived by the women during evening rendevous with visitors. This is different from the "one man, one woman" idea of marriage because there is no set person that does work. It is also not a relationship between only a man and a woman, but one woman and many men or the other way around. I do not feel that a marriage actually exists when there are that many people involved. It is more about sex for the people of Tibet than love and happiness.

2. I think postponing marriage has become most likely between poor and middle class couples who want to establish a career and become somewhat settled before beginning a new life with someone else. These couples want to make sure that they are situated for themselves before starting over with someone new. There is also this fear that their partner will change for the worst once marriage becomes an option. According to the text, "With poor women there is a fear of economic dependence both within a marriage and in the event it should end." There is also a need to have economic success for a lot of people before entering into marriage.

I was able to find a clip of the wedding reception, but not the actual wedding. Some of the traditions that were portrayed in this clip were:
1. The bride wearing a white dress.
2. A reception after the wedding ceremony.
3. The wedding party sits together at the front of the room.
4. A toast is given by the best man and maid of honor.
5. The bride throwing the wedding bouquet.

The tradition that I chose to research was the bride throwing the bouquet at the wedding reception. The idea of throwing the bouquet was started in the 14th century and considered good luck. It originally began with the single women grabbing at the bride's gown in order to gain pieces of the "good luck." An alternative form was created when the bouquet and garter were thrown. It is said that the woman who catches the bouquet will be the next to marry. I would definitely keep this tradition when I get married. One thing I read was that women have a disposable bouquet to throw so they can preserve the real bouquet. This is something I would consider doing when I eventually get married.

(Source: http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/customs.htm)

Assignment 5: LGBT & Q Families

1. After listening to the radio show of Dan Savage I think his view about gay people in TV is different. His way of explaining how gays are portrayed is interesting. He goes into detail about two shows and a movie from his childhood and now and depicts the stereotypes that gay men obtain from television. The first television show he discusses is "Barney Miller" about cops who policed a gay neighborhood. A gay man was in the neighborhood with a purse and a pink poodle. This is stereotypical of gay people because many gay men do not portray themselves this way. Television shows make it seem as if all gay people act and behave in this manner. The movie that Savage talked about is "Choir Boys" which also referred to police patrolling a gay neighborhood. Gay men were stereotyped yet again as carrying a purse and walking a pink poodle. When the gay man saw a cop handcuffed to a tree with his pants around his ankles, I got the impression that he wanted to be nice and help the cop. The cop obviously had something against gays and made it seem like he had a disease. This proved the point that many people are in fact homophobic. The cop responded with "If you touch me I will kill you." This hatred is shown toward gays everyday because so many people think there is something wrong with them or they will in fact catch this "disease." Savage also brings up a point with the show "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody." The scene describes shows how at even a young age, kids have a reaction to the thought of being gay. One brother makes a comment about practicing kissing and the other brother gives a look of disgust, as if two guys kissing is awful. I know the point was not about him kissing a guy, but Savage brings up a good point.

2. One show that I feel is stereotypical and portrays gay people is Will and Grace. The main character Will is a gay lawyer who has a woman for a best friend. This is very typical of today's society. There are many women who love to have a gay best friend so they can go shopping together. A friend of theirs is Jack and his careers make him stereotyped. He has been an actor, singer, dancer and at some times a nurse. I feel this is also typical of gay people today. They are constantly stereotyped for what jobs they hold because they are more on the feminine side. Jack and Will also portray themselves in a very gay manner on the show which I think carries into society.

3. The idea of gay men has no effect on me. I think gay couples could be just as good parents as a straight couple. I feel like having two gay parents would bring a different perspective and upbringing into the home. I do not believe that these children are at a higher risk of turning out gay because I do not think that "gayness" can be learned from who you live with. A person does not become gay because of the people they are around. Children who grow up with gay parents are likely to be raised the same way as children who have straight parents. The fact of them being gay has nothing to do with their ability to take care of kids. If anything it will make them more cautious and caring. I think there is a large chance that children who have gay parents could grow up more successful than those who have a mother and father.

Assignment 4: Gender & Paid Work

I think that some characteristics of the way children act are from birth and others come from childhood and adolescence. Boys and girls have some form of knowledge going into Middle School and gain more from other kids. There is a sudden change in image and attitude with some children. It is very common that boys are afraid to act feminine because they will be seen as "gay." As girls grow up they tend to lean either towards the more girly side or towards the tomboy image. As the text states, "there is a focus on clothes, makeup, diet, and bodily presentation for girls." The text also states that the use of homophobic terms as insults increases with adolescence. I do not think that boys and girls are aware of these offensive terms from birth unless they grow up in a very open home.

When it comes to gender, looking to the larger society does have an impact. In general with toys, from a young age it is decided which toys are typically appropriate for boys and which are good for girls. The color plays a large part in determining who can play with it. For example, a parent is more likely to buy a pink bike for a girl and a blue bike for a boy since this is proper based on what society thinks. I do not really think that children like pink and blue based on their own thoughts. They may grow a love for this color because it is what they have played with all through childhood. The main reason they enjoy this color is because of the way toys are made and that is based on what society finds appropriate.

I think it depends on the situation whether or not the child likes playing with gender specific toys. Some parents will reward their kids for being gender appropriate while others will not care. I think some parents do not think that at a young age they have anything to worry about when it comes to gender roles and identity. I certainly think the media has a large impact on the way that children grow up. Seeing the way famous people behave makes children want to be like them. For example, I feel there was a huge increase in teenage pregnancy after Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant.

I also think that there are children who change who they are to fit what others want them to be. They eventually become so encompassed in this lifestyle that they forget who they are. I do not work in a daycare or school, but I am pretty sure that teachers try to teach gender specific behavior to their kids. There needs to be some form of boundaries that kids have in the classroom. When boys want to play dress up I do not think that they should be reprimanded, but instead shown another activity to do. If girls act in an aggressive manner, I would hope the teacher explains that it is not acceptable.

Overall, I think there are some aspects that can influence how "naturally" children act as boys and girls. The color of toys plays an important role as well as society and children at school. I think a child's conception of how to act can change as the years go on, especially if they are too afraid to act like their real selves.

Assignment 3: Family Sociology and Sociology Theories

1. According to the functionalist theory, an "instrumental" leader was present during the experiments that Robert Bales conducted using small groups. The main objective of the experiment was that each group was observed while discussing how to go about some tasks. The article states that an "instrumental" leader was someone who "led the group discussion about how to accomplish the task they had been assigned." The definition of an "expressive" or "socioemotional" leader is "someone who kept up the group's spirit with warm, supportive remarks and jokes." The reason the group was functional is because two people made efforts to take a leadership role which contributed to better performance. With relation to the family one adult member is seen as an instrumental leader and the other an expressive leader. The husband takes on the role of an instrumental leader because he is the breadwinner and provides financial support. The stay-at-home wife is the expressive leader because she is the homemaker and provides emotional support to all members of the family.

2. During the 1960s and 1970s there was a major demographic change that led theorists to be critical of the functionalist theory. This change was the fact that married women began to move into the workforce. This made the breadwinner-homemaker family lose its dominant position. Women were no longer staying at home and now had some part in the financial support of her family.

3. I believe that the main theme of the conflict theory is overall relationships between people and how domination comes into play. Men are seen as the more dominant figure in the family and women are less powerful. The reason men have more of this dominant power may be because they earn more money for the family. Competition is another main theme of the conflict theory.

4. The social exchange theory is based on ideas similar to those that economists use. Exchange theorists see that husbands have more of a bargaining power when they are the sole money providers in the family leaving the wives with fewer alternate sources for income. When wives earn money on their own they are less dependent on the husbands which means the husband's power over them decreases.

5. The main idea of the feminist theory is the domination of women by men based on the concept of gender. It also discusses the inequalities between women and men. For example, in a breadwinner-homemaker family women's direct access to money through paid employment is restricted in this type of household. This maintains women's dependence on men.

6a.I think the best way for me to get the most accurate information would be to study the family at a micro level. I think using this approach will enable me to look more closely at behavior patterns of the individual or group and how it is impacting their social conditions.

b. The methods that I would use to collect the data would be surveys, general observations and interviews. The general observation will be for me to overlook how the people are in their everyday settings. The surveys will allow me to compare the data of each individual and the interview will give me a one on one feel for the individual.

c. For my study I would like to have small groups of 20. There will be four groups: one of boys, one of girls, two mixed groups based on age.

d. My research question would be "how does age and gender come into play with social life?" My questions would be: 1. What is your age? 2. Are you married? 3. Do you consider your family to have a breadwinner and a homemaker? 4. Do you think that issues with social life can be blamed on the people around you?

Assignment 2: Family Demographics

Part I

After reading the highlights from the given article I feel that one of the statements that stood out to me was about the number of married-couple households. This statement is so typical of today's society. More and more couples are choosing to live together unmarried rather than make the commitment to be a married-couple household. I was a little surprised to see that the decrease from 1995 to 2010 was not higher. Another statement that caught my interest related to married couples that would have no children in the household. I find this so weird and interesting at the same time. The fact that the age of the couple is 45 and over plays a big part. I am shocked though to see how high the number will actually be in 2010.

The chart displaying data comparing families with children vs. families without children did come as a surprise. I expected the numbers of mothers with children to be much higher because I thought there were more single-parent households. The fact that two parents households with children will decrease in 2010 scares me because I want to have a successful relationship with a two parent household. I feel if the odds are decreasing when the number is already low to begin with means there will be less of a chance that couples of my generation will survive.

The families that have a higher percentage compared to 1995 exist in the households with no children. Married couples, other families, living alone and living with non relatives only have either a slight increase or a drastic increase. Households with children had a decrease in percentage from 1995 to 2010. I think these types of families are more likely to fade out and decrease dramatically as the years go on. Five years from now I hope to be living in a married couple household, but who knows what the future holds. In ten years I want to be a successful two parent household. I want my kids to grow up in an environment with both parents loving and supporting them. It is uncertain to say what I will be doing seventy years from now. I would love to still be living as a married couple, but only time will tell.

Part II

The New Girl Order article brought up good points about woman of today. The Sex and the City phenomenon is changing the way woman live. Woman today are choosing to get married and start a family at a later age than woman 40 years ago would have done. Women of the past were more concerned with taking care of the family while the husband worked, while today it is completely different. There are many families where both parents work because that is what needs to be done to get by. I think that woman are taking more time out for themselves before embarking on a new life with their partner. It is common to see more adult woman going back to school to further their education and I think this is because of the times we live in. From Sex and the City ,Samantha ,I believe, has never been married. She is happier being single and getting attention from different men. I think this is setting an example for woman of today because they see how happy she is.

In terms of the normal years for getting married, statistics say woman will get married later. The average age for a woman to get married about 40 years ago was 20 years old, whereas today, women age 27 are still single. They differ greatly from the lifestyle that their grandparents may have lived. The age of marriage for women has increased to 23.2 from the 1970's. Women 40 years ago who were single would continue to live at home and remain part of the family business where women today choose to live alone and look for men I generally do believe that the women of Sex and the City have had some form of impact on today's generations. Women are working more today than they have in the past because education is very important. Without some form of a college degree most jobs are impossible to get. Women are looking to work more so that they are able to support themselves before starting a family. With the New Girl Order I think women are able to finally be independent and not have to rely on a man. We are filled with energy and ambition that women of the past may not have had because they would meet a boy from a nearby village, get married and start a family. The only major downfall that I see with this New Girl Order is the decline in fertility. The population will start to decrease because less procreation will take place.

As I enter into my twenties and so on, I want to receive a college degree and get a job before I can think about getting married. I need to gain more independence before I can enter into a life-long relationship. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be married by the age of 25, but first I want to have my career set. Starting a family is very important to me, but I need to make sure my husband and I are financially stable first. I would, however, like to stay home for possibly the first year and a half of my child's life before returning to work.

The woman that I most relate to from Sex and the City is Charlotte. I find her to be very set in her ways and paranoid which is the way that I am. I like the way she carries herself and believes in the right things. As far as men I love Big. He is such a sweet and romantic guy and I would love to find someone like him. The only thing I do not like about him is the fact that he did not marry Carrie when he should have; he did make up for it though =).

Until next time...